Luke 24:13-32
This is Jesus heartburn(I have to credit Dallas Willard for this term!)...31 Then their eyes were opened and they recognized him, and he disappeared from their sight. 32 They asked each other, "Were not our hearts burning within us while he talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?"

Monday, June 7, 2010

The Doctor

One of the little boys at the center has been sick for some time and today Ashley and I took him to the doctor. The poor little guy was so scared and confused about what was happening to him. I fought back tears as they drew blood and gave him shots because he was screaming and we had to hold him down. We took turns, Ashley held him for the shots and I for the blood and it sounded like he was yelling “why? why?” and then “momma, momma”. How heartbreaking! I continually rubbed his head and his back and tried to reassure him that this would all help in the end but he doesn’t understand me and my language and for a 7 year-old who has probably been sick most of his life, the idea that this would eventually make him well would be difficult even without a language barrier. After the shots were done and the blood collected he wanted nothing to do with us. We couldn’t touch him or hold him or come close to him….until he fell asleep and Ashley held him...then we got ice cream, which he liked the first bite and then he really just wanted rice:), I wish I thought about rice when I needed comfort food instead of chocolate, candy, or ice cream!

I had 2 thoughts after this experience: first, I was thinking about how difficult it would be to be a mother or father, and to have to take your child to the doctor or the dentist, both places where they are likely to get “hurt” in order to get better. I remember my own momma (love you!) crying when I was tested for allergies at about the same age as the little boy, and I am grateful that she watched me suffer for a bit in order to make me well. Second, I am thinking about God…Pappa, as they call him here, and how often he allows us to be “hurt” in order to make us well; to she watched me suffer for a bit in order to make me well. 

Second, I am thinking about God…Pappa, as they call him here, and how often he allows us to be “hurt” in order to make us well; to experience the pain of suffering which leads to life. How hard it must be for Him to watch His children scream, “why?” and “Pappa!” To trust him in the difficult moments is not easy and I don’t think He wants us to hold back our screams and tears, but it is comforting to know that He loves me enough to do what is best, right and good, even if it is painful and not so pleasant.